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The Grief of A Diabetes Diagnosis

Published:
1-October-2005

I would like to take this opportunity to introduce Kari's mom. I have asked her to write this article about the grief a parent feels at the diagnosis of type 1 diabetes.

By Kara Turner (Kari's mom)

Rusty and I were talking the other day about our initial reactions to and subsequent feelings about Kari's diabetes diagnosis. My emotions ran the gamut in about 10 minutes. When I first heard that Kari had diabetes I felt like I had been punched in the stomach. I was speechless with shock. I think my first sane reaction, though, was grief. This set in after about an hour of trying to process what her diagnosis meant. I knew nothing at all about diabetes, even though I have a cousin who is also Type 1. So, naturally, I began to assume that there would be a ton of things that Kari could no longer do. When I saw commercials on television about blood testing meters they all talked about trying to reduce the pain of having diabetes; when I walked the grocery store, there were sections devoted to “diabetic” foods. I believed that Kari would be restricted in everything for the rest of her life. I began to grieve for the death of Kari's life as she knew it.

The next day, we began our diabetes education. The hospital had to give us the crash course, because Kari, Kristin, and I were leaving the following day for a week with family in Michigan. The team crammed 2 days of education into one very long day. I was a zombie from lack of sleep the night before due to tossing and turning thinking about the future. A small portion of the teaching sunk in – just enough to get us started, I guess. I felt a bit more optimistic about our future after this meeting; at least I no longer felt that Kari was completely doomed. Learning about management options for her future gave me comfort. We were starting out on a very strict insulin and diet regiment, but we could progress to a plan that would offer more freedom for Kari. Thinking about this gave me hope.

It has been a little over three years since Kari's diagnosis. During that time, I have experienced just about every emotion with regard to diabetes: frustration at not being able to control her sugar perfectly; anger because Kari has diabetes; elation when Kari gained the freedom that her pump offers; terror when Kari experienced her first (and thus far only) hypoglycemic seizure; pride when Kari was honored at her school with a courage award for how she manages her disease; joy when Kari has a couple of days, or one day, with good sugar readings. I try to hold on to the good days and let go of the difficult ones.

As Kari progresses towards adolescence, her emotions seem to be constantly on a roller coaster. I am trying so hard not to ride along with her. Some days it is hard to judge if her nutty behavior is typical preteen behavior or a blood sugar issue. It's funny because after all this time, I almost feel like we are getting a grip on dealing with her diabetes and then along comes puberty with a big, fat curveball. Some days it makes me want to cry, but I try to find the humor in it all. Though her teenage years will be a crazy ride, I know we will all come out laughing on the other side.