A. Although some children are, by nature, slow to warm up,
that does not mean that they cannot overcome their fears and
anxieties. The trick is to start from where they are at, and
build from success to success.

First, help him to find activities that he likes and is
successful with. The more times he can experience being good
at something, the more confident he will become. He will
also have the added advantage of having more to talk about.
The more people involved the better. Don't pressure him too
hard to do things he's resisting, but don't make it too easy
for him to opt out. Sometimes kids balk at doing something
even when they know inside that they'll have fun.

Set up some social activities for him that will also turn
out to be learning experiences. Start with something easy
and work up from there. An example might be a movie "date"
with a friend. They can have fun sharing a common
experience, yet don't even have to talk.

Begin by planning easy and structured activities with not
very many people. As he becomes comfortable interacting with
his friends, then try a more challenging event. Be sure you
set levels at which success is a sure thing. That way
everyone will be up for doing it again.

Make the social situations revolve around things he likes to
do. For example if he enjoys computer games, invite a friend
over. Start with one and the next time invite two or three.
The kids will like talking about and playing the games
together.

When it's time to visit adults, tell them about your son's
latest adventures playing the computer game. Let him be the
one to correct you about any details. Hopefully, he'll
become engaged and start talking about some of the high
points for him. You can even clue the adults in ahead of
time about things to ask him.

If he chooses not to talk, don't force him but don't make
excuses for him It's his choice to talk or not. Try drawing
him into conversations. You might ask him something like,
"How did Mario get lost in the Mansion?” This is an open
ended question and will be easy for him to answer and
elaborate on. Don't make it difficult for him by asking
something that just requires a one word answer, or ask about
something that's hard for him.

Gradually, your son will develop confidence in talking and
being with people. He will then be able to take more risks
by talking about less familiar subjects. In short - if
talking becomes fun, he will do more of it. If it is
difficult or embarrassing he will do less.

Finally, don't call him "shy". The more he hears you say
this, the more convinced he will be that that is just how he
is and that he cannot change. In time he might even use this
as an excuse: "I can't do that - I'm too shy!" Instead,
emphasize his positive qualities - his gentleness, kindness,
politeness etc.

Just remain positive and affirming and he should be fine.

Do your children play you up? Then you should really take a
look at Dr. Noel Swanson's parenting advice website,
www.good-child-guide.com. He also has a free
newsletter on http://www.good-child-guide.com/parentingtips that is filled with great advice.

Privacy Disclaimer Advertising Links Link to us Sitemap

My Child Has Diabetes Newsletter

Live a Normal Life

Sign Up Here

What Can I Do To Help My Son Get Over His Extreme Shyness? By Dr. Noel Swanson

What Can I Do To Help My Son Get Over His Extreme Shyness?
By Dr. Noel Swanson