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Friends & Family: Their Reactions to Your Child's Diabetes

Published:
1-July-2005

By Russell Turner

You and your child may get a lot of different responses to your child's Type 1 diabetes diagnosis. Some positive, and some not so positive. Sometimes people react fearfully just because they are ignorant about juvenile diabetes. When my daughter was diagnosed (she was 8) She knew more about diabetes than I did because a character in a book she had read was diabetic and it was discussed. If you find this happening, the first step is to take the time to educate others. This discussion is very important, not only for others but also your child. They need you to help them realize that having diabetes doesn't make them different. Special maybe, but they are the same person they have always been. Usually, just having more understanding of diabetes and its treatment will help people respond better to your child and her needs.

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Adults

Type 2 is a lot more common than type 1 diabetes. Many adults have misconceptions about your child's condition based on what they think they know about people with type 2 diabetes. They don't understand the importance of staying on an insulin and eating schedule. You may hear them call your child's condition "sugar diabetes". Back in the olden days people thought that eating too much sugar caused diabetes. These people are easier to deal with because once they know the facts, they quickly change their way of thinking about your child.

People who are afraid of your child's condition are a little harder to deal with. Older adults, especially grandparents may be afraid of making mistakes in caring for her diabetes. At first they may feel a little overwhelmed. They might worry about what she can eat because they are thinking sugar, not carbohydrates. They may also be afraid they might miss symptoms of hypoglycemia. Better information about diabetes, and time spent watching you care for your child, will help them overcome these fears. It may just take a little time.

Another reaction to the diagnosis of Type 1 diabetes could be pity or an assumption that your child is sickly. My daughter was an active tomboy before she was diagnosed. Juvenile diabetes hasn't slowed her down a step for the most part. Once they see that your child is really no different than before the diagnosis it will help to change their thinking. You should explain that diabetes treatment has come a long way since Great Aunt Bea's time. Point out that your child's diabetes is under control and that she is healthy and active.

Grandparents or close family friends may go through a grieving process. This is completely normal, we all did. It's also a sign of how much they care about you and your child. Try to give them some time and the opportunity to talk about their feelings.

Children

Sometimes your child may be nervous about telling her friends about her diabetes. My daughter was. As it turned out nobody really cared. She was still the same person and as far as the other kids were concerned, nothing had changed. Most likely your child will have a similar experience. However, it is important to let your child express these fears if they have them. This will be the very beginning of your child's feelings of being different. Help them decide how much information they want to share with others. Let them know you will always be there for them, no matter what. Once in a while you may find a little cretin who teases your child. It's important that you explain to your child that diabetes is only an excuse to tease not the reason for the teasing. Most of her friends will be supportive. Some may have questions, some may not. Our children are amazing creatures. They will deal with these questions honestly and that will be that. All we can do is prepare our kids for both possibilities.

Other Parents

The parents of your child's friends are an important group of people to educate about diabetes. They may be the first people their children get their opinions about diabetes from. They also have final say over birthday party invitations, and play dates. By educating these parents you help to insure that your child isn't excluded from these events. By doing this you are helping keep your child's life normal.

You don't want your diabetic child to experience the hurt of not receiving invitations to a friend's party or sleepover because the friend's parents did not want the responsibility of a child with diabetes. If this happens, talk to the parents about diabetes and how it could be handled. Write everything down. Times for blood tests, carbohydrate requirements, times for meals and snacks. Include the signs of hypoglycemia and what to do. If the activity falls into a time where an injection is needed explain that you will be there to give it. Most parents will be comfortable having your child over if they have instructions and they know that you will be available. Knowing that they can reach you at all times is usually enough to reassure most parents. Educating the parents of friends will probably be ongoing, as your child makes new friends and as her social life expands as she gets older.

Brothers and Sisters

Brothers and sisters of children with diabetes will have a variety of reactions to the diagnosis. Once in a while they fear that they will get diabetes. Reassure them that they can't catch it from their sibling.

Many siblings become jealous or feel left out because the child with diabetes suddenly begins to get more attention. Let them express their feelings. If it's true that you've been giving more attention to the sibling with diabetes, admit it and explain why.

Many parents find that siblings of a child with diabetes appreciate "special time" with one or both parents. Set aside some time for each sibling to do something with you that he or she enjoys. It could be a special outing, or something as simple as playing a video game together. You may find that these special times reduce the number of complaints from siblings about their brother or sister with diabetes.

One of the keys of adjusting to diabetes is to keep your family routine as close to normal as possible. In most cases, diabetes care should fit into your lifestyle -- not the other way around. It's natural to be very focused on diabetes for the first weeks and months after diagnosis, but with proper preparation you and your family can live healthy normal lives.