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Rusty's Ramblings

Here we are again at the beginning of a new year. A time of hope and optimism. A time to make and break resolutions. A time to return unwanted Christmas presents. A time to ponder what lies ahead for our diabetic children.

At the end of last year our dog Sandy was killed in an accident. It was a sad day for all three of us, and especially traumatic for my girls Kari and Kristin. As some of you know my girls are 10 and 8. I agonized for awhile about including them in some kind of ceremony or just taking him quickly and quietly to the vet for them to handle. I'm so happy I decided to include them.

We held a funeral and buried him in his favorite spot in the backyard. It was a very tearful farewell but each girl took the opportunity to say a few heartfelt words over him. We had gathered up his favorite toys, and his leash so the "angels could walk and play with him". The girls then collected some pinecones. He used to play with them with great gusto. They placed them with him also.

Bedtime for the next several days was a very sorrowful time with tears and reminising about Sandy. After awhile, things seemed to go back to normal until one night Kari said to me "Daddy there's a hole in my heart where Sandy used to be." It made me feel like I was failing her as a father. I couldn't fix her diabetes and I couldn't fix this.

I did soon get some perspective on the situation and didn't beat myself up for too long about it but I realized something. It's not just our diabetic children and their siblings who's emotional state we need to monitor closely. We can't forget ourselves as parents and caregivers. We need to take care of our own emotional health. Diabetes is an equal opportunity disease. The pressures and responsibility that we must face daily and sometimes hourly can greatly affect us and we're so busy parenting and caregiving that we don't even notice. If we neglect our own emotional health we can't be there for our kids when they need us most.

As far as the hole in our family where the dog was goes, I decided we needed a puppy. I had a decision to make. I could get us a puppy for Christmas or I could wait. Both girls have an April 2nd birthday. Let's see, house-break a puppy in the dead of winter, always cold, snow to contend with, bitter cold night-time trips outside, and always dark. Or mild April temeratures, much more daylight, no bundling up in boots, coat, hat, and gloves. All in all a much more pleasant experience. The choice was easy. We got a puppy for Christmas!

Happy New Year,
Rusty

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