Chapter Eleven: "An Apple or a Coma Those Are Your Choices"

In case you thought you were going to be immune from some emotional ups and downs of your own let me set the record straight. WRONG! You may not have the disease but you have all of the responsibility.

This is a burden that unless someone has experienced it they can never fully understand it. The title of this chapter is a direct quote of something I once said to Kari. She wanted a soda or some chips for a scheduled snack and I wanted her to have something healthy. When I think back, I can't believe I really said it. The point is the pressure and the emotional strain that you will find yourself under at times dealing with diabetes is tremendous. You will need a break. If you are a single parent it can be even tougher. Be prepared. If it hasn't dawned on you yet it soon will, you are the one giving the shots. You are the one inflicting this pain on your baby. Even though it's absolutely necessary it's a huge burden to carry. At first there's no way around it. You have to be there. But as time goes by and you and your family get a better handle on how to keep your life normal.

Allow yourself a break once in a while. Indulge in your hobbies. Learn a new hobby. Do something that doesn't involve diabetes. Don't let diabetes win. You will be a lot less help to your child if you are all tied up in knots about it. Keep in mind your own emotional state when you are dealing with your child. Especially when you're not having a storybook day. Be careful what you say. The off hand remark that you throw out when you're hot under the collar can do a lot of harm even if you didn't intend any. It's a lot more likely that you will be part of the solution if you make time for your own mental health rather than contributing to your child's emotional problems. It's like when you are traveling on an airplane. The stewardess is telling you about the oxygen masks. They say "if you are traveling with a child, put your own mask on first then help your child with theirs".

Take care of your own mental health so you can be there to take care of your child's.

Adaptation or adjustment to the diagnosis of diabetes takes a long time. Often you may have stronger feelings about diabetes than your spouse, or vise versa. It helps to talk and share feelings within your family and with members of your diabetes healthcare team. As your child and family live with diabetes, they become more used to it. They will feel more sure they can manage it. Fears that have no reason will go away. Sadness and anger may still come and go at times. You may feel sadness when your child is hospitalized or when you see a picture of your child before the diagnosis. Sometimes you may feel very sad for a moment, like when kissing your child at bedtime. These feelings decrease with time. The continued love for your child is the most important feeling and does not change.

As your family adjusts, everyone begins to feel more hopeful. They may want to help in diabetes research studies or help diabetes support groups raise money. It is important not to look at diabetes as the end of the world. If everyone in your family has a positive attitude, life with diabetes will be much easier. Fitting diabetes care into as normal a lifestyle as possible is what it's all about.


 Next

Chapter Twelve: Your Other Children


 

Legal Statement

The Book "So Your Child Has Diabetes" A Step by Step Plan for You and Your Child , is Copyright © 2004 by Russell A. Turner.

No part of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted by any other means: electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise, without prior written permission of the copyright holders. This book is supplied for information purposes only and, as experienced in this subject matter as the contributors are, the material herein does not constitute professional medical advice. This publication is designed to provide accurate and authoritative information with regard to the subject matter covered. It is sold with the understanding that the publisher and contributors are not engaged in rendering medical, psychological, or other professional advice. If medical or other professional assistance is required, the services of a competent professional should be sought. The reader is advised to consult with an appropriately qualified medical professional before making any medical decision. The publisher and contributors do not accept any responsibility for any liabilities resulting from decisions made by the purchasers of this book.

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